He Saw What I refused to See
I remember one time in my early 20s, I was in Central Park and I saw a guy that obviously took very good care of himself physically. This wasn’t unusual at all. There were guys like that everywhere you looked in NYC, but in this case, for whatever reason, I took the opportunity to stop, acknowledge and admire his commitment to his diet and workout routine.
Seems reasonable right? It was nothing more than simple admiration for his hard work.
Well, he noticed me “noticing” him and for some reason I got really embarrassed about the whole thing, panicked and tried to pretend I wasn’t looking at him. I composed myself as best I could and started walking away, although I’m pretty sure I probably ran like a frightened rabbit.
I was sincerely confused about what just happened, so I stopped and sat at a park bench a little way away so I could process it all. Why did I freak out like that? What was the big deal? After all, it wasn’t gay or anything like that. I obviously liked women. I had a girlfriend so... What seems so obvious now, was a total mystery to me at that time.
Then, to my absolute horror, I look up and I see the guy sitting on the park bench on the other side of the walking path from me. My mouth went dry and dropped wide open, my heart skipped a few beats and I’m pretty sure all the blood drained from my face.
He sat there as if he was on display. He was wearing a red tank top with blue shorts. I’ll never forget it. His legs spread wide, his arms were out and along the back top of the bench and I was incapable of looking away.
…and then the unimaginable happened. He took his shirt off, revealing a perfectly sculpted torso, looked directly at me and smiled.
My dick got hard immediately and that’s when I really freaked out. WHAT (and I can’t stress this enough) THE FUCK WAS HAPPENING!!??!! I don’t know how long I sat there like an idiot staring at the guy, but I have a feeling it was longer than what would be considered polite.
I smiled back awkwardly, tried to hide my raging boner and ran for the fucking hills.
I think about that day often. He saw what I refused to see. I’m not straight. I am bisexual. Always have been, but it took me until my 40s to accept it.