Recently I was scrolling through Reddit and came across a meme that was posted on a Facebook page. I've seen many messages like this one and I thought it was time to respond to each of these comments.

As you read this, you may assume that I’m a hard core liberal. That would be a reasonable assumption, but I am not. I’ve been a registered Republican for almost 35 years. I just recently (within the last year) changed my affiliation to Independent. Why? Because my morals and values supersede any party affiliation, and the Republican party no longer represents my morals and values.

Here is the message from the meme:

YOU KNOW FOLKS, I never cared that you were gay, until you started shoving it down my throat, and I never cared what color you were , till you started blaming me for your problems, and I never cared about your political affiliation, until you started condemning me for mine. I really never even cared where you were born, until you wanted to erase my history, and blame my ancestors for your problems. You know I never even cared if your beliefs were different than mine, until you said my beliefs were wrong, but now I care, my patience and tolerance are gone, and I am not alone in feeling like this, there are millions of us who feel like this.

There is a lot to unpack here, so I’m going to break this down comment by comment. Here we go.

“I never cared that you were gay, until you started shoving it down my throat.”

I hear this type of statement often and every time, all I can think about is what exactly does "shoving it down my throat" mean? What are some examples so I can better understand?

I assume they mean, like when gay people walk around the neighborhood knocking on doors to convince people how great it is to be gay…. Oh, and what about when gay people shout into megaphones on college campuses harassing students and telling them they’ll be eternally punished for being straight, and when gay people give servers fake money with quotes about how awesome it is to be gay instead of a tip. Or how about when gay parents take their kids to a program every week that tells them it’s immoral and disgusting to be attracted to the opposite gender, and my personal favorite, when groups of gay people travel to other countries to promote being gay and give out propaganda about homosexuality under the guise of helping impoverished communities.

Wait…

From what I've been able to glean so far, "shoving it down my throat" means at least one of two things in the conservative mind:

Normalization. Any attempt to normalize anything having to do with LGBTQ+ people. Attempting to normalize something means you're attempting to allow or encourage something (typically considered extreme or taboo) to become viewed as normal. The very notion that being anything other than heterosexual should be considered normal, is apparently a bridge too far for some. Unfortunately, this line of thinking supports and encourages harmful stereotypes, active discrimination and a lack of policies to protect the human rights of LGBTQ+ people.

Visibility & Acknowledgement. Seeing LGBTQ+ people on television, in sports, at work, in movies or simply walking down the street minding their own business, is perceived by some as "shoving it down my throat". This belief, by its very nature implies that being anything other than heterosexual should be a deep dark secret that you keep hidden from the outside world.

Given the severity and the existential threat that normalization and visibility represents, I can certainly see how the gay mafia is aggressively on the attack.

Sigh….

The core issue here IMO stems from the belief by some (maybe even many) that anything other than heterosexuality is (i) unnatural, (ii) a lifestyle "choice", (iii) mental illness, etc. This core belief is why the concept of grooming still has legs. Those that believe this also tend to believe that people can be "recruited into the gay". Personally I think that notion is ridiculous. Why do I think it's ridiculous? Because it is not based on data. It's based on religious beliefs, personal opinions, bigotry and the like, and none of that is data or facts or proof. Let me say that again, NONE of that is fact or proof. I know many people will take exception to my comments with regards to religion, but here is the deal. Merriam Webster has a definition for the words "fact", "truth" and "proof" and examples derived from the Bible simply fall short of those definitions.

On the other hand, we SEE, in nature, more than 450 species (insects, birds, reptiles, mammals and fish) demonstrate homosexual and bisexual behavior including courtship, pair-bonding, parental activities and yes…SEX. Like it not, that is an observable fact (i.e., it satisfies the definition of the word).

But wait….there's more. Scientists have found evidence that biology, not environment is at the core of sexual orientation. Brain scans have provided the most compelling evidence yet that being gay or straight is a biologically fixed trait. Like it not, that is tangible evidence (i.e., it satisfies the definition of the word), that supports the idea that grooming is a nonissue and no one can be recruited into the gay. The evidence suggests that people are simply born this way.

So much for the argument "iT's NoT nAturAl".

“I never cared what color you were , till you started blaming me for your problems.”

Once again, I ask, what are some examples of this so I can better understand? Was there one data point where this happened to you, or is it a regular trend that you're experiencing? As a black man, I can say with 100% certainty that I have never blamed anyone for my problems simply because they may be white. I also happen to be related to a bunch of black people and I happen to know many more black people socially. None of them blame random white people for their problems either. We do however take issue with those that are complicit in causing and/or perpetuating conditions that lead to problems for people of color. In simpler terms, what I'm saying is, don’t be a racist ,dick and we will get along just fine.

This thought process reminds me of a conversation that I sometimes have with my wife. If I express frustration or anger about something, she will sometimes ask me "Well, what do you want me to do about it." I respond every time with "I don’t need you to DO anything but listen. This has nothing to do with you. I'm just venting".

It seems that for some reason people that think like this tend to internalize comments and statements that were not directed towards them. If this happens to be you or someone you know, I suggest listening closer to determine if the comments are truly directed towards you, or if they are just simply airing a grievance. I'm willing to bet it’s usually the later.

“I never cared about your political affiliation, until you started condemning me for mine.”

The Republican party (like the Democratic party) is made up of multiple sub groups. Some of those sub groups are moderate and some are very extreme. Right or wrong, it's the actions of the of extremists within the party that define the politicians directly engaged in the fuckery de jour, the politicians that refuse to condemn them, the voters that continue to support them and the therefore, the Republican party overall. The term "guilty by association" is appropriate here.

The far right within the Republican party has some seriously fucked up ideas on "how things should be." I won't give those ideas oxygen by listing them here, but as an American, you'd have to be complicit, willfully ignorant or just plain stupid to not know what I'm talking about.

Take Texas for example. As I write this, Texas is facing a housing crisis, a migrant crisis, a multi- year drought, widespread infrastructure failures and an epidemic of mass shootings. Meanwhile, Senator Ted Cruz prioritizes and opens an investigation into Bud Light. BUD LIGHT!!! What part of that makes any fucking sense? If you look at all of this and think to yourself, "Yup!! I support this guy and those that think like him because you know… gas prices are high"… then yes, you're kind of begging to be ridiculed for your "affiliation".

As a result, the country and the rest of the entire world watches in shocked disbelief as the non-extremists within the party literally do NOTHING to condemn or cure or expel these radical members for fear of losing supporters in an already tight race for control of local, state and Federal legislatures. So to any conservatives reading this, I ask, given this sad reality, how is a reasonable person to conclude anything other than this is a political party that would rather “rule” than “govern”?

I’ll wait…

For this reason, it's no wonder that ALL conservatives (yes, I mean all conservatives, including my own family members, friends and loved ones) that support these people, whether they are the extremists themselves or the ones that are too weak to stand up to them, are all therefore viewed as complicit and equally as shitty as the extremists.

So yes, in this case, I do condemn people for their affiliation. Sorry I'm not sorry that the direct and predictable consequences of your actions happened to you, but like my dear mother used to say, “The dildo of consequences never arrives with lube.”

Just kidding… she never said that.

“I really never even cared where you were born, until you wanted to erase my history, and blame my ancestors for your problems”

This one is a bit a doosie for me. I literally have no idea what the creator of this meme is trying to say here. It starts out implying an immigration grievance and then takes a hard turn to I assume, something to do with the Confederacy but I'm not sure, followed up with something that sounds more like bitching about systemic racism. Trying to unravel this one makes my head hurt.

I would love to listen to a sane, intelligent, credible conservative voice, but I have yet to find one (and trust me, I’ve been searching). It’s all unhinged, incoherent, deranged bullshit, rife with fear, paranoia and violence. Having said that, I would absolutely love to be proven wrong about this.

Anyone care to accept this opportunity? I’m all ears.

“I never even cared if your beliefs were different than mine, until you said my beliefs were wrong.”

I firmly believe that this is once again a fictional boogie man that many conservatives like to present as a clear and present threat. I can only assume that the creator of this meme was referring to a widely held belief by many conservatives that "Christianity is Under Attack". Although it is true that an increasing number of Americans do not identify as Christian, it is still the largest religion in the country and the notion that Christianity is under attack is a misrepresentation of what is actually happening. Let me try to put this into perspective: The biggest difference between the Christian right in the United States and the Taliban in Afghanistan is theology. Let that sink in for a minute….

Here in the United States, we have the Christian Right which generally promotes conservative interpretations of the Bible and believes that the theology of Christianity should guide ALL social, political and personal life, and they seek to enforce such beliefs through legislation. Islamism is a set of ideologies that support the notion that God's law, as interpreted through the theology of Islam, should guide ALL aspects of social, political and personal life. This ideology is then enforced through state sanctioned law. (ex. Shari'a Law). Both of these examples demonstrate a willingness and intent to force people to comply with the religious values of the majority.

OK, here we go…. The reason many Christians feel like Christianity is under attack is because up until recently, people (in large quantities) did not push back. We allowed these people to excessively proselytize without any opposition. They became accustomed to that, and felt righteous in their actions because, well, God commanded it. Here’s the thing. This IMO is somewhat like trying to ask a pretty woman out for a date. You get one opportunity to shoot your shot. If she says no, you leave it alone. For Christians, most are tone deaf to the word no. They persist and persist and nag and preach and all I (and many people like me) want is for them to fuck off and leave me alone. Eventually they get the hint. Usually after I lose my patience and literally tell them to fuck off. So what do they do next? They try to impose laws that force their agenda onto the rest of us.

STOP TRYING TO FORCE YOUR RELIGIOUS VIEWS ONTO OTHER PEOPLE! This is a real example of one group attempting to "shove something down someone's throat: in direct contrast to the bullshit example outlined above.

"I am not alone in feeling like this, there are millions of us who feel like this."

Finally we get to the part where the meme creator lets us know in no uncertain terms that they are among a group of like-minded people, implying that the rest of us need to know what’s up...or else. Well, you know what… there are Millions of people that feel exactly the opposite. So now what? I get a chuckle every time I see a "We The People are Pissed Off" sticker on a vehicle. I laugh because these geniuses seem to have forgotten that We the People means all of us. Not just those that are butt hurt because their ideas are not popular .

We have to do better as a nation of diverse people. It's not that hard. We all deserve the right to LIFE, LIBERTY and the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS.

Soooo… my message to the creator of this meme is: Boo hoo, suck it up snowflake, and Fuck Your Feelings… oh wait, that’s their line. Nevermind.

Persecution Fetish? I think So.